Love is in the air, or is it lust. In today’s world, we are quick to confuse the two. So in this blog, let’s focus on long term love. After all, do we know what love is or how to achieve it?
If we are honest with ourselves, most of us have no idea how to maintain long term love. We brag about last night’s score but never mention loving for decades. It’s no surprise. Hollywood glorifies quick-love. Picture a woman spotting a man across the bar. She makes her way across the crowd only to find the man left. But wait! A business card was placed where he was setting. The chase is on. Clue after clue, moments so close, agonizing dead-end, lead to the moment they finally meet and embrace. It is love at first card. Um, no, this is how to stalk a man with a happy ending. Love is deeper.
Take it from someone who’s marriage started in the 1900s, Stop looking for Mr. or Ms perfect. They are not out there. We all have our quirks, and the best option is to find a friend. Oh yeah, Hollywood has stained that as well with the “You’re just a friend.” stigma. The fact is, a solid love needs a solid foundation; friendship is that foundation. I married my best friend. Then I dragged her through 20 years of military shenanigans. The divorce rate in the military is astronomical. Yes, we were close to being there several times. But, we got through one step at a time, one day at a time. We talked and listened.
Fun fact: it is impossible to talk and listen at the same time.
Friendship is a core value relationship that supports love. When the fire and stress of this world come to strike us down, real friends stick together. Friends give each other space but never walk away. Emotions might fly, but discord never lasts. It is the foundation that supports true love. Without this base, love will fail. We need to take the rose shaded glasses off and see the attachment for its actual color.
When two souls grow together, over time, they become one. They are autonomously symbiotic. Yes, they may not see eye to eye all the time, but that’s all right. They understand and accept each other’s individuality. The beginning stage is rough and raw, but over time the duo can learn to dance quite well. Notice we said “can learn” and not “will learn.” It takes two to dance. We cannot force our love/lust upon others to force them to love us back. It is wrong. If someone says no, then we are to respect their wishes. If we say no, they are to do the same. We cannot force a flower to bloom. So it is with love.
I want to close with a huge Valentine’s wish and kiss to the love of my life. #LYLTNS